Oh Crap....Literally

I usually wait so long to post my anecdotes that I end up forgetting them, but there was no way I was going to miss out on talking about this.

So it's no secret that there are homeless everywhere, from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, and as you can imagine, they are usually not the cleanest of people. However, never before had I seen a blatantly homeless man sleeping on a métro train. The average homeless man (or woman, mind you) is content to set up camp in a métro station, ATM vestibule, or sidewalk. This particular homeless guy was crafty.

Because my métro stop is the beginning (or terminus) of the line, I have the option of sitting just about anywhere I want before the train gets crowded as it picks up people after each stop. I usually like to sit at the end of a car, where the seats are arranged in a sofa-style fashion.

I was walking to the end of the métro car when I saw this homeless guy sleeping on one side of the couch. Though I had already decided that I didn't want to sit across from a sleeping bum (they can be physically unpredictable), I immediately got hit by this wave of FUNK. I mean, no lie, there was no doubt in my mind that this guy had been walking around in his own excrement for some time. I headed to the other side of the car, out of the stink zone, and sat down.

Here's where it gets funny - as the train got more and more crowded, people were forced to stand or sit near the guy, and I could see their expressions turn into grimaces of disgust as their noses were assaulted by the smell of feces. Many put their scarves over their faces in an effort to block out the smell, while the scarf-less smothered their mouths and noses with their hands. I even saw one woman choke, the smell was so bad. EVERY TIME the métro made a stop, the people nearest to the homeless guy would get out and hurry into a different train car. Every time.

Ahh, these are the moments that make Paris worth visiting...