Oh Crap....Literally

I usually wait so long to post my anecdotes that I end up forgetting them, but there was no way I was going to miss out on talking about this.

So it's no secret that there are homeless everywhere, from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, and as you can imagine, they are usually not the cleanest of people. However, never before had I seen a blatantly homeless man sleeping on a métro train. The average homeless man (or woman, mind you) is content to set up camp in a métro station, ATM vestibule, or sidewalk. This particular homeless guy was crafty.

Because my métro stop is the beginning (or terminus) of the line, I have the option of sitting just about anywhere I want before the train gets crowded as it picks up people after each stop. I usually like to sit at the end of a car, where the seats are arranged in a sofa-style fashion.

I was walking to the end of the métro car when I saw this homeless guy sleeping on one side of the couch. Though I had already decided that I didn't want to sit across from a sleeping bum (they can be physically unpredictable), I immediately got hit by this wave of FUNK. I mean, no lie, there was no doubt in my mind that this guy had been walking around in his own excrement for some time. I headed to the other side of the car, out of the stink zone, and sat down.

Here's where it gets funny - as the train got more and more crowded, people were forced to stand or sit near the guy, and I could see their expressions turn into grimaces of disgust as their noses were assaulted by the smell of feces. Many put their scarves over their faces in an effort to block out the smell, while the scarf-less smothered their mouths and noses with their hands. I even saw one woman choke, the smell was so bad. EVERY TIME the métro made a stop, the people nearest to the homeless guy would get out and hurry into a different train car. Every time.

Ahh, these are the moments that make Paris worth visiting...

Be Cool

I definitely am not in the best of moods right now, due to some serious temperature-related discomfort at the house. The discomfort? It's freezing. That's pretty much it.

Not to say that the landlady has not tried to accommodate me. She's jiggled the knobs left and right, trying to get the heat to stay on, but for some reason it goes out in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Yeah, it sucks.

So now I have a cold today, at one of the worst possible times. Our office has a presentation on International Public Relations that we're giving to University of Florida (ugh) students tomorrow, and I'm expected to speak! How am I going to say anything and sound confident when I am all the while fearful of snot running down my nose?

At times like this, I really miss home. No, not the house I'm staying in with the supremely screwed up HVAC, but HOME. Right now I'd be in a warm bed watching crappy daytime television, eating Chick Fil A. Uncle Sam, I miss thee....

Vamped Out

I have around five essay-length posts that I have every intention of publishing very soon, but I've learned to embrace each and every train of thought that keeps this twisted mind of mine entertained.

Train of the moment? Vampires. I've always been fascinated by any subject interesting enough to pull me away from what I'm supposed to be focusing on, and I've always been fond of vampires in particular. I think my first exposure to vampire lore was the 1992 film Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The essence of the plot? A young Californian female who enjoyed nothing better than maxing out her credit at the Beverly Center must now grapple with her calling to destroy vampires and other various demons.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a person of high taste. Say what you want, but it was a fairly enjoyable camp flick. I remember checking the TV Guide listings for the HBO broadcast schedule in order to catch the flick whenever it was on the television. Imagine my glee when the (now defunct) WB network announced a spinoff in 1997. I remained a faithful viewer throughout the show's six year run. The television series quickly surpassed the film in terms of quality and intrigue. In the TV version (which I highly recommend), Buffy falls in love with Angel, a vampire cursed with a soul. Though Buffy's mission as the Slayer keeps her bound to the night, she'd love nothing better than to be whisked off by her pale lover into a beautiful sunrise...oh wait.



In 2000, one of my favorite singers, Aaliyah, announced her intention to star in a feature film adaptation of The Queen of the Damned, the third installation of Anne Rice's much-heralded Vampire Chronicles. Those familiar with Rice's canon know that her main thesis is that vampires retain their personality after being created, and many of them are sensitive, emotional creatures that spend a large part of their existence reflecting on their lost mortality (when they're not ripping out throats, that is). Though the film itself was of questionable merit, it was enough to turn my attention to Rice's literary work.

After having read books I-III - Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and The Queen of the Damned, the latter of which I finished shortly after arriving in Paris, I considered myself just about done with vampires, until I got hooked on this, my newest guilty pleasure.



One of HBO's newest series, True Blood, tells the story of a Louisiana waitress named Sookie Stackhouse (raise eyebrows in amusement here), a young telepath who falls in love with Bill Compton, a vampire created during the Civil War. Though I openly deride this show for its obvious cliches, I somehow managed to watch 11 episodes within a week. Congratulations, HBO. You've won me over.

But I've got to draw the line with this Twilight mess. Yes, I know the film claimed more than $70 million at the box office this weekend, but as you can see, the vampire-with-a-conscience wheel is one that Hollywood has spun one times too many. I am not at all familiar with the Twilight novels, but I'd bet every cent to my name that the franchise features the following plot elements:

- Socially alienated young girl (prom queens and yearbook editors are much too busy to consort with the fang gang)
- Socially alienated young girl's motley crew of fellow outcasts who cannot fathom their friend's interest in Undead Americans (sorry, guess that's one less friend to attend the latest Evanescence concert with you)
- Broody, mopey, but always sexually attractive vampires frozen in immortal youth and beauty (Human blood creates the same fountain of youth effect as Botox, apparently)
- Vampiric love interest faces ostracism from his own kind for showing interest in humans (otherwise known as dinner)

I often fantasize about being in a position where I am able to call public attention to this fact. Maybe Roger Ebert is in need of a page? Who knows. All I know is that I need something new to fixate on. I tried exercise, but it makes me tired.

Switch 'Im Out, Kick 'Im Out

As we are thankfully nearing the end of W's tyranny administration, I received this in a company email this morning.

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
- George W. Bush

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
- George W. Bush

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
-George W. Bush

'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'
- George W. Bush

'The future will be better tomorrow.'
- George W. Bush

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world..'
- George W. Bush

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
- George W Bush

'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe . We are a part of Europe '
- George W. Bush

'Public speaking is very easy.'
- George W. Bush

'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.'
- George W. Bush

'I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.'
-George Bush

'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
- George W. Bush

'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'
-George W. Bush

'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.'
-George W. Bush

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
- George W. Bush

He sure is edumacated.

Turkey Day x 2

So it looks as though I may be having Thanksgiving after all! Twice even. Not only is my supervisor hosting a feast, but my neighbors and I are planning a potluck. I wonder what the French think of all this rampant eating...

Because I get the chance to enjoy my absolute favorite holiday in my absolute favorite city, it's only appropriate that I give thanks to Christ the Feeder Healer, right?

Here we go:

Dear merciful baby Jesus,
Thank You so much for continuing to nourish my bottomless pit of a stomach.
For the past 22 years, You have always provided me with more food than one human being should ever eat, and for that I shall always be eternally grateful.
For Your mercy, like my appetite, knows no boundaries.

Amen. Now get to work on securing the menu for Christmas.


'Tis truly the season.

Romanticizing Europe Pt. I

In the past, I was of the opinion that Americans have a very strong tendency to glamorize Europe. I read of gorgeous Spanish beaches, delicious Italian food, and impulsive French fashion. In high school, which is where I believe many Americans develop an appreciation for traveling elsewhere, I was advised to take advantage of the abundant opportunities to visit other countries for the benefit of my well-being.

In college, where I came to better understand government, I heard many a student voice his or her dislike of American self-interest in favor of European socialism. I was also no stranger to the idea of Europe being a racially unified utopia where biracial coupling abounded, free of criticism. After twenty years of being in the South, I finally felt ready to visit the European Utopia.

When I arrived in France in May 2007, I did indeed see a country that appeared to be a melting pot of cultures. Everywhere I went, I found a reality that seemed inconceivable in America. Couples and families of all colors and ethnicities strolled down the street, without anyone giving a second look. The homeless slept by the banks of the Seine river or in ATM vestibules without being harassed by the police. And most notably, public transportation was a marvel of efficiency. Save for New York City and a few other well-known American metropolises, I believed it next to impossible to get anywhere without a car. That didn't seem to be the problem in France.

I continued to hold this view of Paris until my eyes fell upon those working the most unsavory jobs possible. For all the colored blue-collared employees I saw, I might as well have been back in the States. African maids tended to my hotel room, while Arabs toiled away at construction jobs on the métro or in the street. African men hawked counterfeit versions of haute couture bags, while Asians and Middle Easterners manned crêpe and fruit stands on street corners and in subway tunnels.

More and more, I'm beginning to see that the most important things may not be so different, regardless of what side of the ocean you're on...

Back in Action

I promise to write about Dublin as soon as I get my computer back, not to mention some free time! A friend of mine needed to use it to finish her application. To Harvard. Yeah that's right, she's applying to Harvard. What am I doing? Jetting off to look at castles...when I'm not contacting agencies in Tokyo, London, and Mexico City, that is.

I'm important too, darn it!

Photos and review of Dublin soon.

Book I'm currently reading - The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver.

Off to Dublin for the Weekend....

I don't plan on having regular access to a computer, so everyone have a good weekend!

Random thought: Gyro sandwiches are good.....

Brave New World

I have decided that the best way to avoid boredom with the design of my own blog is just to update the background as I deem necessary.

I'm still in a state of euphoria just knowing that the country I return to, MY country, is one that has only begun to realize its own potential. Yes, yes, yes we can.

You can view our president's speech by watching the video below:

Four Seconds of Fame

So it looks like CNN decided to air one third of my two cents!

Can I Just Say...

That I have never been prouder to be an American. Senator Barack Obama has supporters all over the globe, and the French audience is no exception. Ever since I got to work this morning, people have been making crossed-finger gestures at me. I get winks from guys in the restroom, which is just fine, as I know they're not propositioning me (as least not today). At lunch, the other interns interrogated me endlessly as to when the results would be announced. The energy in this office is palpable - just about everyone is rooting for our dear Chicagoan. I just wish I didn't have to work today! It hasn't been too bad though, but I know I'll be white-knuckled by midnight.

Barack Obama, we salute you. Best of luck.

P.S. I'll be sure to post pictures from the Election Soirée sometime this week. It should be a lot of fun! There'll be a buffet, TV interviews, a buffet, free alcoholic beverages, a buffet, hundreds of Democrats and Republicans to socialize with, and...oh yeah, A BUFFET!

Thought of the Moment

Yeah yeah yeah, so I changed the template yet again. One of these days, I will take the time to design my own template in Photoshop or something so that I can finally be at peace. Today is not that day, however.

This weekend, I had my ritual walk of the town on Friday night. Usually I walk from L'Arc de Triomphe to Notre Dame's Latin Quarter for a good pita sandwich, and this week was no exception. The change in climate may soon necessitate a variation to my routine. Can't believe it's getting this cold so quickly, but then again, I'm not in the States.

I spent the better part of Saturday roaming around town, trying to find a few pairs of pants without breaking the bank. Mission unaccomplished!!! I find myself mystified at how Parisians walk around looking like the best pages of a Macy fall catalog without living on the streets. My only guess is that they save money by turning a two bedroom apartment into a space for five. Not my idea of private space, but hey, when one wants to look good, one has to make sacrifices.

After several hours of being frustrated with the French fashion industry, I headed over to my boss' apartment, where she was hosting a Georgia-Florida football party. There I met some familiar and new faces, and had a great time.

But here's what I wanted to stress (sorry you had to read all that to get to my point): I met a French girl who studied for a few years at the University of Florida. When we were talking (in French, I might add!) about our experiences traveling to a different country, we both said the exact same thing about the other culture:

(rough English translation)
Me:I find French people very friendly and welcoming, but it has been hard to make actual French friends. The majority of my social network consists of Americans and Canadians. It's kind of hard to meet people here outside of work.
Her:I felt the same way about UF. I thought the Americans were really nice, but most of my friends were French ex patriots, and we had a kind of French community at the university. It was really hard to meet Americans.

I think this just goes to show that everyone should make an extra effort to reach out to those who come from another place. When I arrived at the beginning of September, I didn't know a single soul, save for two UGA ex pats who I rarely see because they are busy with work and their personal lives. I now have the experience of being in a situation where your knowledge of the native language isn't exactly perfect, but all you want is to establish a good rapport with the people and get a feel for the culture.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone is never easy. Do what you can to make another's transition more fluid. Something as simple as asking a foreigner for a lunch date or coffee can make all the difference in affecting their view of your country.